we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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