You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
