I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize