needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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