I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
