I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize