I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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