you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
