My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
