doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
