WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
