Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I am naked and annoyed.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
