nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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