I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
