is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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