Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
