I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
