Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
you never un-have a 4some
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize