She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
