so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
