to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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