he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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