We're facebook friends in real life
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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