I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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