i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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