the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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