So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
We just shotgunned beers for America
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
try to milk me bitch
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
