She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
