he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
