So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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