hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
