i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
