I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
