dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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