I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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