Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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