is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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