Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
