I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
