Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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