would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize