Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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