Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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