I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
