I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
