Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
