so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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