He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
