mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
