I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
