I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
