So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize