she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
