i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize