aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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