Dual....:-)
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Randomize
