her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
