the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
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