Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
foreskin is a definite game changer
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
