I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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