Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He better not be in your backpack
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
