im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
