office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Ladies don't puke and tell
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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