ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
