I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
vagina is talking i cant
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
