oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
bring money and cleavage
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Is Oprah even human
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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