I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
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