I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
