Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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