i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
