I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
