Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
